The Magic of Knowing What You Want with Tracey Gee

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Tracey Gee

• Website: traceygee.me
• Instagram: @traceygee
• Book: The Magic of Knowing What You Want

Leadership coach and author Tracey Gee didn’t plan to build a life around desire. For decades she served in the same Christian ministry, envisioning retirement in that one org—until a missed promotion shook the ground under her feet.The disappointment didn’t just sting; it unraveled her identity.

“I didn’t recognize myself,” she tells Evan. “I had a million questions, and I couldn’t see straight. It touched everything—leadership, friendship, my spiritual life, and my sense of what I had to offer.”

In the fog, Tracey sensed a gentle invitation from God: for 40 days, do one thing each day simply because you genuinely want to. No five-year plan. No “right answer.” Just honest desire in small, faithful steps—chaperoning her son’s field trip, trying a new recipe, planting tomatoes (unsuccessfully).

Those tiny yeses didn’t look “strategic,” but they brought her back to God, herself, and hope. They also seeded the framework for her book, The Magic of Knowing What You Want, and a pathway she now uses with leaders to move from autopilot to alignment.

In This Conversation, Tracey Explores:

👉 Why desire is an honest doorway to clarity (you can’t fake what brings you alive)
👉 How a 40-day “wanting” practice rebuilt connection to God and self
👉 The four question traps that drown out desire—and how to “park” them
👉 Her Authentic Alignment Pathway (Calibration → Expansion → Experimentation → Integration)
👉 Why you don’t think your way to clarity—you live your way into it
👉 How disappointment, handled wisely, gets you closer to what you want
👉 The faith tension: Is it “okay” to want? (And how a bigger view of God changes everything)

From Autopilot to Aligned: Why Desire Comes First

Tracey noticed a pattern in herself and in the leaders she coaches: we go big—purpose, calling, impact—while skipping the smaller, truer signals of what actually brings us alive. Then life starts to feel disconnected.

Starting with desire might sound “selfish,” especially in faith spaces. But Tracey reframes it: your true desires are where God meets you in what’s real—not in what you think you should want. Begin with honesty; scale to purpose from there.

The “Question Parking Lot”: 4 Loud Questions to Pause (for now)

When you consider a change, a noisy avalanche of questions can swamp your desires. Tracey names four common types and suggests “parking” them early so your quieter truth can breathe:

1. Permission questions
Am I allowed to want this? Who will be upset?

2. Pragmatic questions
Is this even possible? Why bother if it won’t work?

3. Competency questions
Am I qualified? Do I have what it takes?

4. Capital (money) questions
How could I afford this? Is this irresponsible?

These questions matter—just not as drivers. Park them. Let desire drive; invite these back later as helpful copilots.

The Authentic Alignment Pathway

Tracey’s four-stage framework for creating aligned momentum:

1) Calibration — Who are you, really?
Attend to what brings you alive. Track it. Journal it. Share it with a trusted friend. This isn’t fluffy; it’s foundation.

2) Expansion — What’s possible?
Drop realism for a moment. Write 100 things you want. Don’t edit. Don’t justify. Let the list surface what you didn’t know you knew.

3) Experimentation — What’s the next right-sized step?
Clarity comes after action. Take small experiments that are safe, doable, and meaningful. (You don’t need to move across the world—start with tomatoes.)

4) Integration — What did you learn?
Celebrate wins. Name surprises. And work with disappointment rather than avoiding it. Disappointment isn’t failure; it’s data that refines the path.

“We tend to think we need clarity before we act. But real clarity grows as we experiment.”

A Bigger View of God (and Why That Changes Desire)

Many leaders internalize a message that desire and God’s will are opposites. Tracey challenges that: if the Spirit dwells in us, then desire can be a conversation with God—not a betrayal of God.

“If Jesus showed up on your doorstep and asked what you wanted—would you know what to say?”

Key Questions for Personal Growth

👉 What small, honest yes could you make today—just because you want to?

👉 Which of the four question types gets loudest for you—and how will you park it?

👉 Where might disappointment be pointing you toward a truer fit?

👉 If you wrote 100 wants, what might surprise you on that list?

For the Faith-Based Leader Who’s “In Between”

You don’t have to settle for autopilot.

You don’t have to pick a life that only makes sense on paper.

You can start small, listen for God in your desires, and move toward the life that fits who you’re becoming.