Win At Home First: Cory Carlson on Priorities, Identity, and Choosing a Better Way

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Cory Carlson

• Website: corymcarlson.com
  
• Books: Win at Home First and Rise and Go
• LinkedIn: Cory Carlson

What happens when success at work costs you the very relationships you care about most?
And what do you do when the identity you’ve built around your title, salary, and performance no longer fits the life you actually want?

In this episode of The In-Between, I sit down with Cory Carlson—former corporate executive turned leadership coach, speaker, and author.
After decades climbing the ladder (and reaching the top), Cory realized that winning at work wasn’t enough if he was losing at home.

We talk about the real costs of ambition, the power of slowing down, and why courage often looks like saying no to what’s expected—and yes to what really matters.

If you’re feeling stretched thin, stuck in a cycle you can’t seem to break, or wondering how to lead differently at work and at home—this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

👉 Why time management isn’t enough—and why choice management changes everything
👉 How identity can sneak into even the “good” parts of leadership—and what it takes to untangle it
👉 Why your best relationships can’t thrive if you’re giving away your best energy to everyone else
👉 How to stop living reactive—and start leading intentional
👉 The quiet practices (like solitude, planning, and reflection) that fuel real success
👉 How to name what you really want—and why that’s the first step to any meaningful change

The Wake-Up Call: When Success Isn’t Success Anymore

Cory was the Vice President of a $120 million division inside a billion-dollar company.

On paper, he had it all: visibility, influence, financial security.

But under the surface?

“I quit going to the gym. I stopped quiet times. My kids were playing on the floor—and I had my face buried in my laptop.”

The deeper he went into corporate success, the more his life—and relationships—started to fray.

I was giving the best of me to everyone else—and giving my family the leftovers.

That realization led Cory to an executive coach…and eventually, to a whole new career.

You’re Not Burned Out—You’re Out of Alignment

One of the most powerful reframes Cory shares is that leadership health isn’t about doing more.
It’s about doing the right things—and learning to tell the difference.

You don’t have a time management problem. You have a choice management problem. If you don’t name your priorities—someone else will.

For Cory, true flourishing meant learning to build rhythms that fueled both his professional and personal life—not just one at the expense of the other.

👉 It meant treating a date night with his wife as sacred as a quarterly business strategy meeting.
👉 It meant learning how to refill his emotional tank before walking through the front door.
👉 It meant realizing that real success means showing up fully—in the boardroom and the family room.

Fear and Permission: Why Dreams Stay Dormant

In coaching hundreds of leaders, Cory noticed a pattern:

We’re not short on ideas. We’re short on guts.

Fear—of failure, of rejection, of getting it wrong—keeps so many people from stepping into the dreams that are already burning inside them.

In the conversation, Cory shares practical tools for overcoming fear, naming your true desires, and taking courageous steps forward—even when it feels scary.

Identity Isn’t a One-Time Battle

Stepping away from a corporate role wasn’t just a career transition—it was an identity reckoning.

My title wasn’t just my role. It had become who I thought I was.

Even now, Cory admits, identity creep still happens.
He shares how even things like podcast downloads or book sales can threaten to become the new metric for self-worth if he’s not careful.

The solution?
A continual return to solitude, prayer, reflection—and a refusal to let external metrics dictate internal worth.

Practical Tools You Can Start Using Now:

📝 Daily solitude: Journal, pray, or walk without inputs (no podcasts, no news)
📅 Intentional planning: Schedule date nights, one-on-ones with kids, and real rest
📵 Ditch the phone alarm: Use a real alarm clock and leave your phone in the kitchen overnight
🎯 Clarify your vision: Write out your “future self”—what you want three years from now to look like

Flourishing Isn’t Achievement—It’s Healthy Relationships

When asked what flourishing looks like now, Cory didn’t name titles or trophies:

Flourishing means having incredible relationships.
Spending time with my wife and kids—and they actually want to spend time with me.
Walking closely with God.
That’s success.

For Anyone Feeling Stretched Thin or Stuck

This conversation is for:

• Leaders whose professional life looks “successful”—but feels hollow
• Entrepreneurs wondering how to integrate faith, family, and ambition without losing themselves
• Anyone standing at the edge of a new dream—but feeling paralyzed by fear
• Leaders who are tired of living reactive—and want to build something sustainable
  

Cory’s story reminds us:
✨ If you don’t set your priorities, someone else will.
✨ Slowing down isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
✨ Winning at work isn’t enough if you’re losing at home.
✨ Flourishing isn’t platform—it’s healthy, lasting relationships.

Connect with Cory Carlson:

• Website: corymcarlson.com
  
• Books: Win at Home First and Rise and Go
• LinkedIn: Cory Carlson