What happens when you let go of certainty—but still hold on to Christ?
In this episode of The In-Between, I sat down with Andy Squyres—songwriter, poet, and author of some of the most honest music I’ve ever heard. What struck me most about Andy isn’t just his honesty—it’s his hope. Not the tidy, feel-good hope we often hear in worship spaces, but a gritty, hard-won hope forged through grief, doubt, and years of sitting with questions that didn’t have easy answers.
Andy doesn’t shy away from hard questions. His songs don’t wrap things up in a bow. But what emerges from his story is a deeper, more grounded kind of hope—one that’s not afraid of tension.
We talked about art, faith, loss, longing, songwriting, calling, and what it means to be a human who’s still drawn to Jesus, even after the scaffolding of Christian culture begins to fall away.
The Beauty of Bittersweet
Andy’s music lives in the tension. It embraces melancholy, longing, and even grief as sacred spaces where God meets us.
Life is absurd. So art should mirror that. – Andy Squyres
He shares how grief broke him open—but also freed him. Freed him from needing to protect God’s image. Freed him to tell the truth. And ultimately, freed him to create songs that resonate with the rest of us who are trying to follow Jesus without faking it.
I Needed a Faith That Could Survive My Life Falling Apart
Early in our conversation, Andy shared how grief unlocked something in him—a kind of freedom to tell the truth.
At some point I realized a lot of our stories in the evangelical world are very ‘color-by-numbers.’ And I just wanted to make art. Life is absurd, and art should mirror that.
He described how being surrounded by frameworks that promised success, healing, and control began to crack when loss came into the picture. In particular, his experience in charismatic and Pentecostal circles—where faith is often presented as a kind of spiritual insurance plan—eventually left him disoriented when life didn’t go as expected.
Those ideas are fine until the theory is proven wrong.
Andy’s response? Not to walk away from faith—but to walk deeper into it. To stop trying to protect God’s image, and instead, start telling the truth. That shift gave birth to the kind of lyrics that don’t just comfort—they confront, awaken, and make space for people like you and me who are asking: What happens when the formulas fail?
From Coloring Inside the Lines to Embracing Mystery
Andy talked about how much of evangelical Christianity presents a “color-by-numbers” version of faith—neat, predictable, and often disconnected from reality.
But what if real transformation doesn’t come from having the right answers… but from learning to live in the questions?
Your belief system is not God. It’s a structure—and God will tear it down if it gets in the way of knowing Him.
He challenges us to let go of sentimentality and embrace a faith that’s spacious enough for mystery, paradox, and awe.
Your Belief System is Not God
This line from the conversation hit me like a freight train.
Andy talked about how easy it is for Christians—especially those of us in ministry—to mistake our theological frameworks for God Himself.
If we value those systems more than the person of Christ, we’ve made a mistake. And God will actively resist that.
Letting go of the idol of certainty, for Andy, didn’t lead to despair. It led to deeper intimacy with Christ. He even describes it as permission from the Holy Spirit: permission to ask hard questions, to read widely, to explore ideas, to step beyond what’s “safe” without losing your anchor.
I actually believe God is not nervous about our questions. If we go exploring in the world of ideas, His love will still meet us there.
What If the Collapse is the Beginning?
We talked a lot about the current landscape of the church—and what some are calling a “deconstruction epidemic.” Andy doesn’t see it that way.
He sees it as renovation.
A reckoning that’s making room for something more real.
God is subverting our systems. And what we’re calling the worst of times… might actually be the Spirit’s best of times.
Andy believes the Church’s future lies not in slick production or perfect answers—but in rediscovering the wonder of Christ’s presence.
The Gospel Isn’t About Comfort—It’s About Meaning
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when Andy said:
Jesus doesn’t promise you comfort or power. What He gives you is meaning.
That hit me hard. In a world obsessed with success, pleasure, and significance, Andy invites us into a different way of being—a more sustainable kind of flourishing.
On Calling, Pastoring, and Vocational Shifts
One of my favorite parts of the conversation came when I asked Andy about his current role on a church staff. After years of doing his own thing, what led him back into ministry?
His answer was refreshingly honest.
I don’t think I’m called to be the lead pastor of a church. I’m too curious in too many directions.
Andy loves the Church, but he’s realistic about the limitations of the pastoral role—especially when your calling pulls you into spaces that don’t always fit traditional expectations. His music is taking off. His writing is connecting with thousands. And he’s realizing that his contribution to the body of Christ might not look like standing behind a pulpit.
Still—he carries a deep pastoral heart. He’s just expressing it through poetry, essays, and songs.
I don’t need to be understood. I just want to be faithful.
What Does Flourishing Look Like?
Andy’s definition of flourishing today?
- Building deep relationships with his family and community
- Creating work that tells the truth
- Living a slow, grounded, sustainable life
- Letting go of the need to be understood—and choosing to be faithful instead
It’s not about being impressive. It’s about being rooted.
If You’re Holding Both Doubt and Devotion…
This episode is for you. Whether you’re burned out on certainty, disillusioned with Christian culture, or just aching for something real—you’ll find resonance in Andy’s story.
Connect with Andy Squyres
📍 Instagram: @andysquyres
📝 Essays & Music: andysquyres.com
Everything just changed, now what?
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