Pain is unavoidable, but being stuck in it is optional. Healing is a process, and it begins when we stop running from our wounds and start facing them with God. – Davey Blackburn
Davey Blackburn knows what it means to walk through deep loss—and come out on the other side with a renewed sense of purpose. A pastor turned coach, speaker, and the founder of Nothing Is Wasted Ministries, Davey now helps people navigate pain, grief, and major life transitions through a biblical framework of healing and redemption.
His own journey was marked by unimaginable tragedy: the murder of his wife, Amanda, in 2015. In the years that followed, Davey wrestled with grief, doubt, and the painful process of rebuilding his life. But along the way, he discovered something powerful: healing isn’t about moving on—it’s about moving forward with a renewed sense of faith, purpose, and hope.
This conversation is about what it takes to step into healing, why we resist pain, and how God invites us to transform our suffering into something meaningful.
Running Toward the Roar: Facing Pain Head-On
Most of us avoid pain. We suppress it, distract ourselves, or try to move past it too quickly. But according to Davey, healing begins when we stop running away and start facing our wounds with intention.
He recalls a pivotal moment in his journey when a mentor, pastor Levi Lusko, gave him this advice:
Run toward the roar.
Levi was referring to a natural hunting strategy of lions. Male lions roar to scare prey into the path of waiting lionesses. The irony? The safest direction is toward the roar—not away from it.
When I heard that, I knew exactly what it meant for me,” Davey says. “I had to stop avoiding the things that triggered my pain and start leaning into them. I had to let myself grieve.
For Davey, that meant intentionally exposing himself to painful memories—listening to the song played at his wedding, returning to his house, and even lying down on the spot where he found Amanda. Each step, though painful, was part of his healing.
💡 If something triggers deep pain, it’s not a signal to avoid it—it’s an invitation to heal. Facing what we fear is the first step toward freedom.
Why Pain Keeps Us Stuck (And How to Move Forward)
Pain has a way of paralyzing us. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a betrayal, or a life transition, trauma can make us feel powerless.
Davey describes how, in the aftermath of his loss, he found himself stuck in survival mode:
My body was keeping score of the trauma. I was sick, exhausted, and emotionally numb. I thought I was being strong, but really, I was avoiding the deeper work of healing.
One of the biggest lies we believe about pain? That we have no control over it.
But healing happens when we recognize the difference between what’s in our control and what’s out of our control.
I started writing down two lists: What I could control and what I couldn’t. I couldn’t control what had happened, but I could control my response. I could choose to engage in my healing rather than avoid it.
💡 Trauma steals your sense of agency. Healing begins when you reclaim it—when you stop asking “Why did this happen?” and start asking “What can I do next?”
The Power of Holding Tension: Embracing the “And”
One of the biggest lessons Davey learned in his journey? The power of “and.”
We live in an already-not-yet reality. Pain and joy coexist. Grief and hope walk side by side. But we often try to simplify things—’I’m struggling, but God is good.’ What if instead, we said, ‘I’m struggling, AND God is good’?
Holding both truths in tension doesn’t weaken faith—it strengthens it.
When I started allowing myself to feel the full weight of my pain, without rushing to a silver lining, something changed. I wasn’t just trying to fix my grief—I was letting God meet me in it.
💡 Faith isn’t about ignoring pain. It’s about trusting that God is present in it. You can be grieving and healing. You can be hurting and hopeful. Both can be true.
The Church’s Role in Healing
Many churches emphasize growth, mission, and purpose—but they struggle to create space for healing.
Before I lost Amanda, I saw pain as an obstacle to the mission. Now, I realize pain is the mission. If we don’t help people heal, how can we expect them to walk in purpose?
Davey’s ministry, Nothing Is Wasted, helps churches build pathways for healing. His message to pastors? Slow down.
If you want to create a church where broken people can heal, you have to embrace the mess. People will come in with wounds, baggage, and unresolved pain. And that’s exactly who Jesus came for.
💡 The church should be a hospital, not a performance hall. When people feel safe to process their pain, true transformation happens.
What Does Flourishing Look Like?
For Davey, flourishing isn’t about success, accolades, or a pain-free life. It’s about being deeply rooted—in faith, in purpose, and in a mission bigger than himself.
We pray often: ‘God, establish the work of our hands.’ Flourishing to me means living in such a way that others find healing through the life I’m building.
That means:
✔ Being deeply planted—not swayed by circumstances, but rooted in faith.
✔ Leading a life that heals others—allowing his pain to be redeemed for the good of others.
✔ Operating in peace, not striving—trusting that God is doing the work of restoration.
💡 Flourishing isn’t about escaping pain. It’s about allowing God to redeem it. True healing happens when we stop striving and start abiding.
Where to Connect with Davey Blackburn
Davey’s ministry, Nothing Is Wasted, is dedicated to helping people navigate grief, loss, and major life transitions. Whether through coaching, community, or their Pain to Purpose course, their goal is simple: to help people heal and step into a life of redemption.
👉 Website: nothingiswasted.com👉 Instagram: @DavyBlackburn👉 Pain to Purpose Course: nothingiswasted.com/pathways
If you’re in a season of loss, transition, or uncertainty, remember this: Healing is possible. Redemption is real. Nothing is wasted.
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